Lovely

No worries, it'll even out more as it heals.

Tattoo.

The first tattoo I ever thought about getting, that I've wanted for a while, that means more to me that I could ever explain to anyone, I've finally gotten!
In white ink I now have the word "Lovely" in my handwriting, tattooed on my left wrist. I love it. It's not healed yet, but it's already everything I wanted it to be :)
Now, I could spend 6 hours, blogging about what it means to me and why it's important and blah, blah, blah...No one would read it, everyone would get bored and I'd be yet another person you know who got a "stupid tattoo" and probably has poor judgement about everything in life...because that's how all tattooed people are, right? Whatever, I beg to differ, but that's for another day.
Here is the song that inspired the tattoo.
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In sort, it's simply a reminder of self-love and self-acceptance. In order to keep my head on straight, my heart in the right place, and not let anyone else's ideas or opinions affect how I feel about myself, I simply need to remember that I'm lovely the way that I am. The way I am is good enough for me. Good enough for me is good enough for everyone else.

I don't wanna be hurt
I just want to be little old me
Shouldn't have to think
Who am I suppose to be today
And what give you the right
To tell me who I should be
Who gave you that right

Cause I, I feel lovely
Just the way that I am
Yes I feel lovely
The way that I am

I know you want the best
Yeah only good things for me
But you have to realize
I can be all these things you project on me
Cause I'm beautiful to me
Doesn't that mean a thing

I feel lovely
Just the way that I am
Yes I feel lovely
The way that I am

I need that to be enough for you
Need that to be enough for you
Cause it's enough for me
It's enough for me

I'm I suppose to give up everything I am
Just to make you happy
I thought I was the one you
Always wanted me to be
It turns out I'm just little old me
I'm just little old me
And that's fine by me

Cause I, I am lovely
Just the way that I am
Oh yes I am,
Yes I am lovely
The way that I am
I am lovely lovely
I am lovely

Damn case of the Blahs...

The past few weeks have been ones of some rather interesting events. In short, my vacation/insurance conference with my mother turned into an emergency trip to Iowa to visit my best friend, Emma, after her father passed away. In that same trip I discovered that my grandfather has been diagnosed with cancer during my short visit with him, attended the wedding of Emma's sister, Shelby, met a very interesting man on a plane, and almost fell of a bridge...over the Mississippi. Talk about eventful.
Now seeing Emma was fabulous. I truly wish it was under different circumstances but all in all I can't help but find myself to be undoubtedly happy when we're together. Perhaps it's because we've been seeing each other about once every year since 8th grade. Now, here's the place where I would love to go on forever about how much I love Emma and why but I'll spare her as well as whoever's reading this the awkwardness.
Anyways, like most people, I find saying goodbye to be an incredibly difficult thing. Facing the fact that I'm leaving people who actually mean something to me turns me into this sad, energy less, tired, doesn't want to be around anyone, kind of person. So then every other aspect of my life suffers. I don't care to make new friends, I don't talk to people, I feel bad about myself, I sometimes even hate the world...it's a beautiful thing...ok never mind. So, I've been a little down lately. My college orientation was hell and for the first time in oh...9 years, I'm not excited to go. Of course though I will and hopefully by then I'll be out of this funk. Usually when I'm feeling like this I can just tell myself to get out of it, do something exciting, or force myself to be around people whose company I usually enjoy, but right now, it's a state that can't be altered I guess. I'm assuming it's a mixture of stress and fear...wouldn't be the first time. I'm still hoping that I'll meet people who don't quite drive me insane when I actually move up to school. I'm excited for my classes and there were a few people who I enjoyed meeting and getting to know a bit, but other than that...there's not a whole lot I'm looking forward too. I'm ready to wake up tomorrow and be out of this funk. Please, go away. You're not welcome right now, I don't have time for this. We can wallow some other time...please.